One concern many couples have is about how having a Doula effects the role of the partner. According to Penny Simkin, “The Doula can actually bring the couple closer. The Doula allows for the partner to participate at his own comfort level. The combined contributions of partner and Doula, along with a competent, considerate and caring staff give the woman the best chance for optimal outcome.”

 

One of the benefits of being a Portland Doula for me has been my relationship with the fathers. It was unexpected, as I thought in the beginning I was helping women only to discovered that my support and reassurance for the fathers enabled them to participate more fully, with less anxiety and fear, and as I listened to them express their admiration for their partner and astonishment at what she was capable of doing, I realized the full impact of having a Doula present during labor and birth.

 

I think of my role as being similar to a first base coach. I’m there to offer guidance and suggestion to the father so he is able to be present and responsive to the mother’s needs without feeling scared, anxious or unprepared. I can answer his questions, help him with comfort techniques, bring him food, offer reassurance, give him a break, and many more things. He can relax and not worry if he’s “doing it right”. He can participate at his own comfort level, taking the lead role, or feeling free to rest and observe as needed, knowing that the mother will have continuous, loving care.

• It was a lot more intense that I ever imagined
• I couldn’t have done it without you
• It really helped to ask questions and be reassured
• I was really helping my wife
• Just having you there helped me stay calm
• It was very helpful to be able to rest and eat and know my wife was taken care of
• Having an extra pair of hands sure did help!

 

“A doula does not and cannot take over the role of the partner, who knows the mother better and loves her as no one else does” - Penny Simkin, “The Birth Partner”